“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Linda.”

That’s the sentence that started my fifteen-year career as a college professor. Not a decision I made. A question someone else asked, about me, that I happened to overhear.

I said yes because I’m a person who responds to needs. I didn’t think much of it at the time. It felt like a small moment. Looking back, it was part of a pattern in my life.

Because this is how my life always was. People kept finding their way to me, asking for things that weren’t part of my job, and I kept saying yes, without thinking about it and never noticing I hadn’t actually chosen any of it.

I’ve been sitting with that lately. Because it’s something I notice in so many of the capable women in my world. How much of what we carry, the things we just see to, we just take care of, we never actually agreed to. How it just shows up, usually unannounced, and we’re capable enough to hold it, so we do.

If that feels familiar, I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

I’m getting into this more, the real why behind it, in a free conversation called “Why You Keep Carrying So Much.” This piece was just the doorway. That’s where the rest of it lives.

https://www.lifelessonswithlinda.net/carrying-so-much-roadwork-4744

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference.

You can keep showing up. Keep handling it. Keep making it work.

And you probably will.

Because you’re capable. You’ve always been capable.

That’s never been the issue. But lately… something feels different.

Not dramatic. Not falling apart.

Just… off.

Something’s Different (Even If You Can’t Explain It)

Things that used to feel normal now take up more of your bandwidth than they should.

Decisions that used to be easy now take more energy.
The things you say “yes” to don’t land the same way anymore.
Even when everything goes right, it doesn’t feel as good as you expected it to.

And that’s the part that’s hard to explain.

Because from the outside?

Your life still looks fine.

So You Try to Fix It (Like You Always Do)

Your brain does what it’s always done. It tries to figure it out.

Maybe you just need to get more organized.

Be more disciplined.
Get clearer on your priorities.

Stop overthinking.

So you adjust.

You tweak. You try to fix it.

And without even realizing it…you start doing more.

Thinking more.

Carrying more.
Trying harder to get back to a version of things that used to feel easier.

This Isn’t a Personal Failure

This is where a lot of women I work with find themselves.

Not because anything is wrong with them.

But because the way they’ve been operating?

Doesn’t fit the same anymore.

The Part No One Says Out Loud

Just because you can keep doing it…
doesn’t mean it still fits you.

The Pattern You Didn’t Mean to Build

You’ve learned how to be the one who handles things.

The one people can count on. The one who figures it out.
The one who steps in before anything falls apart.

That version of you got you here.

It built a life that works.

But it also created a pattern where everything depends on you.

And over time? That starts to take more out of you than it should.

The In-Between No One Prepares You For

So now you’re in this strange in-between.

You don’t want to burn everything down. That’s not who you are.

But you also know…you don’t want to keep doing it like this.

Why the Usual Advice Falls Flat

This is where most advice completely misses.

Because it tells you to:

• push through

• get more efficient

• fix the system

• or start over entirely

None of that solves what you’re feeling.

This Isn’t a Productivity Problem

What you’re running into isn’t a productivity problem.

It’s a pattern.

The way you:

• step in automatically

• say “yes” before you’ve checked in with yourself

• take on more than you need to

• think your way through decisions instead of trusting them

It worked for a long time. Until it didn’t.

What Truly Starts to Change Things

Here’s where things start to shift:

You don’t need to become a different person.

You need a different relationship with:

• how you make decisions

• what you carry

• and what you allow to be yours

Small Shifts Matter

Not all at once.

Not perfectly.

But in small, real moments.

Like:

• pausing before you automatically say yes

• noticing when something is taking more of your bandwidth than it used to

• asking yourself, “Does this actually need me?”

Not because you’re trying to do less…

but because you’re starting to pay attention to what fits.

This Isn’t Random (Even If It Feels That Way)

There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.

In fact, it makes sense. You’ve built a life by being capable.

Of course it feels strange to question how you’ve always done things.

There’s Another Way Forward (That Doesn’t Blow Everything Up)

This is where things start to shift.

Not by blowing up your life.

And not by forcing yourself to keep going the same way.

But by learning how to move forward in a way that supports you.

The Middle Space Most Women Were Never Shown

You don’t have to continue doing things that don’t feel right anymore.

And you don’t have to have it all figured out before you start making changes.

There’s a middle space.

Most women were never shown how to find it.

But once you do…everything starts to feel different.

Not because your life changed overnight.

But because you did.

I’ve never been a person who frets about adding another year. I celebrate it. My life keeps getting better and better.

That said, there are curveballs.

Man! Like…didn’t see THAT coming.

I have three adult children, all married and off living their lives. Just like I raised them to.

But somehow, I never really thought about what it would mean for them to live hours and hours away.

I didn’t realize I was holding a quiet vision of regular family dinners. Of grandchildren bursting through my doors, so excited to see Nana. Of holidays and ordinary days spent together as the full gang.

It wasn’t a spoken dream. It was just… there.

Then reality arrived.

Their in-laws live closer. They’re part of weekly routines. We are not.

Our house was the “kid house,” always full. Now it isn’t.

There were hard moments. Real tears. Ugly crying. Because it was an adjustment.

Over time, I got to a place where I can genuinely celebrate all the love and support my kids and grands have in their lives. How lucky are they to have so many people who love them? How lucky am I that they are supported when I can’t be there?

Oof. The shift was REAL.

After years of a house full of kids, friends, students, and anyone who would otherwise be alone for a holiday, learning to enjoy a holiday that might just be me and my husband took another adjustment.

And probably the biggest realization of all?

Having “all of us” together matters differently to me than it does to the rest of the family.

That one took time to stop stinging.

All this to say that – yes, I love my life.

Realizing that I had underlying expectations of what this stage would look like…and then letting go of them? That took time.

I’m learning that it’s okay for life to look different from what I imagined.

Honestly? Nothing in my life has turned out exactly how I anticipated.

It’s been better.

Sometimes you just have to live through the surprises before you can see that.