First, we met the cranky, critical version of the She Sees What Could Be Better energy. The correcting eye aimed everywhere at once, including at yourself and the people you love.

Next, we met the She Sees What Could Be Better energy in everyday life. Where you’re learning to be intentional about where you direct the correction energy. And you build boundaries around the people closest to you to avoid hurting them.

And then we met the best-self version, the Integrity Corrector. In the best-self version of She Sees What Could Be Better, you’re discerning about where this energy gets aimed. The words you share are to help things change, not criticism for its own sake.

Here’s the question to sit with. Right now, are you aiming your sharpest critical awareness in a place that doesn’t benefit from it? And is there a system or situation that really needs what you can see?

And here’s your small next step. Identify one part of your work or community where something isn’t functioning as well as it could. Write down specifically what you see, and one concrete change that would improve it.

In our next episode, we move into a new energy and meet She Trusts the Depth She Carries, the voice that knows there’s real wisdom beneath the doubt that has you wait a little longer before sharing it.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Being able to see what needs correction becomes one of the most valuable things you can offer the world. You’ve become more discerning about where that observation gets shared.

As a parent, we often see situations that need to change in our children’s lives. Years ago, one of my sons was dating someone who was absolutely not the person he believed she was. We’ll call her Susie. Not her real name. He loved her and would do anything for her. I saw the signs all along, but it wasn’t my place to say anything to him. I prayed that my instincts and observations about her were wrong. Sadly, they weren’t.

He came to me because he wanted to propose. I shoved my feelings aside and supported him. With love.

Six months later, she cheated on him. She didn’t admit it right away. She put him through a meat grinder. He knew something was wrong and kept contorting himself, trying to do everything he could to make her happy.

He talked to me about it. I gently said that her actions were of a woman who had cheated. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever said to my son. And I told him I prayed that I was wrong, that something else was going on.

Some weeks later, she finally told him the truth. And she blamed him, because somehow he “wasn’t there for her.” Don’t even get me started. It still makes my blood boil, even after fifteen years.

When he told me about it, he said, “Mom, you were right.” It took him many, many months to move past this. The one thing I said to him all through his healing was this: “The girl you were so in love with didn’t exist. Because the girl you believed Susie to be would never have done to you what Susie did.”

Yes, I had all sorts of criticism I could have shared. That wouldn’t have served my son and helped him move forward.

When you have access to the She Sees What Could Be Better energy, you become the person who walks into a broken system and knows exactly what needs to change. Who sees the pattern underneath the symptom. That’s diagnosis in service of change. It only looks like criticism from a distance.

The concern for people’s wellbeing that drives this energy is real and it’s deep. You see the gap between what is and what could be, and that gap matters to you in a way that goes beyond personal preference.

When that caring is the source, the correction becomes an energy that’s truly felt. By the person or system receiving it, and by everyone who gets to experience what happens after the fix.

And my son found his happily ever after. He’s married to a wonderful woman who loves and truly appreciates him as much as he loves and cherishes her. Yay!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

When you’re in She Sees What Could Be Better, the correction instinct is the energy. Where you aim it is the most important piece.

This energy is designed for systems, institutions, patterns, and collective well-being. When the critical awareness goes toward work that benefits from it, amazing things happen. Problems get solved. Systems get healthier. That’s the She Sees What Could Be Better energy doing exactly what it’s supposed to do.

As a professor, part of my job was to assess and critique my students’ work. It became a habit. Yes, it was a necessary part of the job. I hated it at first. And that never really changed. Except for the really good work. That was always such a pleasure to assess.

I’m very lucky because my former students often reach out to connect with me and get together when they’re in town. Often they’ll share what they’re working on. It’s great fun. And man, there’s a part of me that has to put the brakes on and go, “You’re not their professor anymore. They don’t need your assessment and feedback, so unless they specifically ask for it, shut your mouth.”

Everyday life in the She Sees What Could Be Better energy is about being intentional about where you direct the correction energy. Is this a situation that needs fixing? Or are you applying the critical lens out of habit?

It also looks like having boundaries around applying this energy to the people you love. Your partner. Your children. Your closest friends. They need the version of you that can be with them without scanning for what needs improvement.

Everyday life in the She Sees What Could Be Better energy is also about turning the constructive instinct toward yourself with the same care you’d give other people. Compassionate identification of what needs attention. Taking steps toward fixing it. Then the acknowledgment that you’re already doing better than Critical Miss Cranky Pants will ever admit.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

When the She Sees What Could Be Better energy is in the Miss Cranky Pants version, you see everything that’s wrong. And you can’t turn it off.

In this energy, your ability to spot what isn’t working can be a very helpful tool. But the Cranky Pants energy of She Sees What Could Be Better applies it to everything and everyone. Including the people closest to you. And most of all, yourself.

This cranky energy is Criticism, the correcting eye aimed everywhere at once. It’s exhausting to live with, both for you and for the people around you.

I wish I didn’t have a lived experience of this energy, but I do. Back when I had my quilting and knitting store, I had a regular customer who became a friend. We often did things together when I had a day away from the shop. We’ll call her Sally. Definitely not her real name.

Sally was a divorced, single mom of two kids. She was a very sensitive, sweet soul. Her taste in partners sucked. Her ex-husband treated her and their kids horribly. One of the children fell and fractured their arm while they were with their dad for the weekend. He never took them to get medical treatment. That fell to Sally when the kids came home to her.

I honestly can’t remember the details of what went on with one of the fellas Sally dated when we hung out together. But he was horrible to her. And at one point, when she asked me for my thoughts about her situation, I didn’t hold back. And I hurt her. Our friendship was never the same.

It’s one of those life lessons that stings because it’s still filled with regret. I was way too critical. She deserved better from me, a friend she trusted.

The internal version of this cranky, critical energy is particularly brutal. You hold yourself to a standard that shifts the moment you reach it. You find the flaw in your own work before anyone else has a chance to appreciate what’s right with it.

And yeah, I’m very familiar with this internal criticism, too. My husband called me out on it just the other day. Before he and our friends could appreciate my work, I was pointing out what I wasn’t happy with and what I wanted to change. Yikes. Still working on that one.

The external version of the cranky, criticism energy of She Sees What Could Be Better shows up in relationships. You love the people in your life. And you can see so clearly what’s holding them back. So you tell them. Again. And again.

What comes from a place of real care lands as relentless fault-finding, and the relationship pays the price.

Underneath all of this is, “Nothing is ever quite right. Including me.”

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Today we moved into a new energy. Over the next five days, we’re spending our time in the energy of She Sees What Could Be Better.

When this energy runs in you, you see what isn’t working. In systems. In situations. Sometimes before anyone else notices anything’s wrong at all. That ability is real, and it’s valuable. But you have to be careful where you focus this energy.

I’ve been learning about this energy for about fifteen years now. Here’s what I can tell you. Seeing what needs fixing comes with a catch. People don’t necessarily want to hear it. Especially in their relationships. So, yeah, be careful.

When I was teaching, professors were assigned student advising as part of the job. Some of us took it seriously. Others didn’t. Taking real time with students to go over their schedule and their career plans takes a lot of space in the day.

I became known as a professor who’d make time. So many, many students came to see me because their assigned advisor wasn’t helpful, or in some cases, wouldn’t even make time to see them at all.

I had conversations with my bosses in the Dean’s office about fixing this. We all agreed that our students needed real support. I couldn’t fix it myself. I didn’t have that kind of power. But I used my voice, and I’m glad I did.

Now, there are people hired to advise students. That’s their job. It takes the burden off faculty who don’t have the bandwidth to do the job the way it needs to be done. And students get a consistent voice guiding their decisions.

There’s a song that perfectly captures a piece of this energy: Taylor Swift’s “Anti-Hero.” Yes, I confess. I’m a Swiftie. I’ve followed her since just before she played at UWL in 2007. I had her first CD back then and have delighted in watching her grow from that seventeen-year-old performer who packed the concert room with college students into the powerhouse legend she is today. It’s so awesome to witness.

Anti-Hero is the perfect song for the energy of She Sees What Could Be Better. The whole song is built on turning that sharp, correcting eye inward. Seeing your own flaws with a clarity that doesn’t let up. That’s exactly what this energy can do. The same eye that spots what’s broken in a system can turn around and aim itself at you, just as fast and just as hard.

Over the next five days, we’re going to look at the sides of the She Sees What Could Be Better energy. What happens when the correcting eye turns on yourself and the people you love. What it looks like to properly focus this energy in everyday life. And what it looks like at its very best, when what you see becomes a real gift to the systems and people who need it.

In our next episode, we meet the cranky side of the She Sees What Could Be Better energy. I wouldn’t miss it. I hope you don’t!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

First, we met the cranky version of this energy. There’s override mode on one side, where you push through when your body says to stop, because you’ve got a job to do. The other side is disconnection, where you ignore or overindulge instead of giving your body the care she needs.

Next, we met the She Loves and Trusts Her Body energy in everyday life. This is where you learn to catch the moment right before you’d normally push through and do the thing. You pause there. You choose to honor her signal, even when it’s inconvenient.

And then we met the best-self version, the Embodiment Master. In this version of the She Loves and Trusts Her Body energy, the pause stops being something you have to remember. Pausing just becomes the way you naturally move through your days.

As we all move out of this energy, here’s the question to consider. Where are you overriding your body right now, and calling it discipline or commitment? What would it look like to pause there instead?

And here’s your small next step. Notice one signal your body has been giving you lately. Tiredness. Tension. Hunger. The need to rest. Today, honor it instead of pushing past it.

In our next episode, we enter a new energy and meet She Sees What Could Be Better, the voice of an energy that knows exactly what needs fixing, and knows better than to use it on the people she loves.

I wouldn’t miss it. I hope you don’t!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

In the best-self version of the She Loves and Trusts Her Body energy, the pause we talked about in the everyday life episode stops being a practice you have to remember. It just becomes how you naturally move through your days. You check in with your body before you commit to something, without even thinking of it as a separate step anymore. It’s just how you operate now.

At sixty-six, I could talk for days about the times I ignored the signals from my body. And honestly, I’m often better at picking up signals from the people in my life. The tone of voice when they don’t feel well, or when they need to take a break.

I recently added a sweet puppy to my life. Ginny is ten months old and just the sweetest thing. When I first connected with Ginny’s owner about adopting her, my mind kept going: “it can’t be this easy. This is too good to be true.”

But I felt it. My body was saying “yes. She belongs with us.” But I couldn’t take her right away. My head figured there’s no way she’ll still be there for me in six weeks. But I couldn’t allow myself to just push through and force it. So I waited. And six weeks later, she came home with me. She’s the best thing I ever gave myself permission to listen to my body and wait for. Ever.

In the best-self version of She Loves and Trusts Her Body, you’re determined without being rigid. Committed without needing to prove anything. You’ve stopped needing to push through as evidence that you’re capable, because you already know you’re capable.

There’s a kind of magic here too. When you’re truly listening to your body and trusting its timing, you keep ending up exactly where you need to be. Because you’re finally paying attention.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Everyday life in the She Loves and Trusts Her Body energy is about catching the moment right before you’d normally push through. You know that moment. Your body says stop. And some old voice in you says, “keep going, there’s a job to do.” Everyday life in this energy means pausing there, just for a second, before you decide.

While we’ve been in this energy, I’ve been sharing how, until the last five or six years, my habit, my pattern, has been to basically override and ignore the signals from my body. It was sort of a badge of honor to overwork and push through. It didn’t do me or the people around me any good. So I worked to change things. I’m not going to pretend it was easy, and I still have to be vigilant about it, because I’m a responder. When the people around me need something, I tend to push aside what I was doing and help them. Then I scramble to get my own stuff done. Correction. That’s how I used to operate.

I’ve learned to pause for a moment before I start something. Tune in. Pay attention to my body. Does she have capacity for what we’re about to do? Or would this be pushing through and doing something that isn’t the best thing for me right now?

I was working from our lake house last week, enjoying the last days of summer. It was a super busy work week for me. My husband and I received a number of end-of-season invitations to spend an evening with family, or just go visit some friends. I did some of these things, as my schedule allowed. But there were several times when I declined and encouraged my husband to go without me. The old me would never have done that, especially with the in-laws. But this time, I listened. My body said, “nope. There are still a few things to do here, and then you need the rest.” This once would have been a very big deal for me. This time, it just felt good.

Listening to your body is a practice, not a personality trait. You don’t wake up one day fully trusting your body. You build it one paused moment at a time. Noticing the signal. Choosing to honor it, even when honoring it feels inconvenient.

It also means being honest with yourself about the story you tell in that moment. “I don’t have time to stop” is usually not really true. It’s your override voice, dressed up as responsibility.

Caring for your body is part of your life. It’s not a side project. When you listen to your body instead of overriding it, you have more for everything else on your plate.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Well, as I mentioned in yesterday’s episode, I’m very familiar with the cranky sides of She Loves and Trusts Her Body.

The first type of cranky energy here is override mode. Your body tells you, clearly, to stop. You feel it. You push through anyway. Then you call the exhaustion discipline. Your determination points you at the wrong target, and you keep trying to prove something instead of listening to your body.

For years, decades even, my default mode was override. I had three babies in just over three years. We had no family nearby. I was new in our little city. It was basically just me and my boys for the first stretch of their lives. I was married, but to put it kindly, my husband was not a baby person. The current term for my life back then is “single parent while married.” I quit my job and stayed home with my babies. They were my job. All day. All night. Every day. Yes, we fought, mightily, about this. That’s a story for a different day.

I pushed my body so hard and ignored her when she told me to stop. I felt like I couldn’t stop, because I had a job to do. I walked around telling myself, “nobody ever died from lack of sleep. They got stupid, but they didn’t die.”

When our youngest was eighteen months old, I got the flu. I’d never had the influenza before, but man, I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. I had about as much strength and energy as a wet washcloth. It was Christmas Eve. We had friends over for dinner. By the time they left, it dawned on me that something was really wrong. But I had packing to do. We were leaving early Christmas Day to spend the holiday with my in-laws, and there was no way we could not go.

Winter in Wisconsin. We headed out. After a five-hour drive, all I could do was crawl into bed. I couldn’t ignore my body anymore. Two days later, we took a trip to the emergency room. Influenza. IV fluids. Then, time to go. But before we left, the emergency room doctor really reamed out my husband. He needed to help more. I was really sick. He needed to handle the littles so I could recover. The doctor was so stern that my husband was shaken up. On the drive back to his mom’s house, he asked me, “Am I really that bad?” I didn’t have the energy for a comprehensive answer in that moment. And then the moment was gone.

The other kind of cranky energy in She Loves and Trusts Her Body swings the other way. You entirely disconnect from your body. Or you swing hard in the opposite direction. Overindulging it. Numbing out instead of nurturing.

On a lighter note, I’m usually a pretty good eater, mindful of what I eat and how much. But every now and then, yikes. I’ll start on my snack of the moment, let’s say potato chips. I’ll have some chips with my sandwich at lunch. The sandwich is long gone, and I’m still eating the freaking chips. And you know what finally stops me? When my stomach is going, “no more, no more.” Long after my body was already telling me we’d had enough. This doesn’t happen often, and honestly, it happens less often as I’ve gotten older, but I was so good at ignoring what my body was telling me she needed. Here’s a clue. It wasn’t potato chips.

Underneath all of this, you’re thinking, “I don’t have time to stop right now. There’s too much depending on me.”

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Today we enter a new energy. For the next five days, we’re spending our time with the energy of She Loves and Trusts Her Body.

This is the main energy that runs through me. I’m so excited to get into it and share it with you.

When this energy runs in you, your body isn’t a tool to manage. It’s the vehicle for everything else you’re here to do. You’re wired to love your body. To trust it. To test its limits just to see what’s possible.

I would be lying if I told you I’ve always loved my body. Quite the opposite. I’ll be sixty-six this week. For at least two-thirds of my life, I’ve felt at odds with my body. There were so many reasons. Among them, ignoring her and feeling disconnected because I was trying to bury and hide from my trauma. And then there was the disconnection from always comparing myself to all of the “perfect” people (at least that’s how I saw them), who had the perfect hair, smile, eyes, face, body, boobs, legs. You get the idea. It’s only been in recent years that I’ve learned to love and appreciate my body, just as she is. And more importantly, to trust her and the signals she gives me.

The fun part of this is that I truly believe life just keeps getting better and better. And at almost sixty-six, I remind myself that it’s totally use-it-or-lose-it time. As we age, the less we do, the less we can do. I see the truth of this in the people around me all the time. I saw it with my mother before she passed. Her world got smaller and smaller as she did less and less, and then it got to where she couldn’t do anything for herself.

I’ve grown into loving and appreciating my body. She’s strong. Flexible. Energetic. Resilient. And yes, older. But honestly, so much better than forty-five or fifty years ago. Yes, things have moved and shifted. She’s got lines and scars and spots to remind me of the roads we’ve journeyed on and through. Childbirth and nursing three babies made for a lot of changes. At the time, I didn’t marvel at what she did, because I was so busy in the trenches. But now? Now, I’m gob-smacked by what she did. By how she’s navigated our challenges. And by how she continues to support me.

There’s a perfect song for this energy, Alicia Keys’ “This Girl Is on Fire.” It’s got that same vibrancy this energy carries. Fully alive in your own body. Lit up from the inside, not from anything outside you. These days, I’m careful to nurture and support myself in ways that make me feel fully alive and lit up in my own body. And with that, I’m off to listen to Alicia sing that song. And to dance. And let myself get lit up in the fun of this energy, of this moment.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

First, we met the cranky version of this energy. You’re guarded. You wish you weren’t so careful and protective of yourself. You see tension as a warning instead of information.

Next, we met the She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy as it’s designed to run in everyday life. Here, you learn to pause. You learn to read the timing. You’re able to discern who’s safe, instead of staying closed to everyone.

And then we met this energy at her best self, the Harmony Creator. In this energy, you walk into tension and shift it. You show people that conflict can be a beginning.

As we move from this energy, here’s the question to ponder. Where are you holding back more than is serving you? Where might you be opening up before the timing is right?

And here’s your small next step. Name one relationship where tension has been building. Don’t resolve it. Don’t avoid it. Just name it, honestly, to yourself. Then decide. Speak now, or let it settle first.

In our next episode, we move into a new energy and meet She Loves and Trusts Her Body. This energy knows how good it feels to fully enjoy her own body. This is the main energy that runs through me, so I’m super excited to share this one with you.

I wouldn’t miss it. I hope you don’t!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

When you’re in the best-self version of She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy, you can walk into a room full of tension. And the tension shifts. Because you’re present. Because you’re candid. Because you’re committed to finding what’s underneath the tension.

When you’re in a committed relationship with someone for a long time, there are some really challenging stretches. One approach is to just ignore how you’re feeling. You push it away and hope the challenges fade into the rear-view mirror and things get better on their own. Let’s be real. Tension is icky. And ucky. It doesn’t feel good. So you ignore it. Except that doesn’t do your relationship any good at all. There’s got to be a better way.

My challenge was always admitting the truth of my feelings, unless I was saying I love you. I might have been unhappy with something my husband was doing, but for a long time, I said nothing. And the tension grew. And grew. And GREW. He knew I was upset, even though I said I was fine. When I finally got brave enough to tell him how I felt about what was going on, his response was, “Woman, I can’t read your mind. If you don’t tell me what you want and how you feel, I’m never gonna know.” That was a game changer that saved our marriage.

Most people avoid conflict, or get swallowed by it. When the She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy is running in its best version in you, you’re wired for a third way. Moving through it. Toward something better on the other side.

You’ve made peace with vulnerability. Not because it stopped being scary. Because you learned the good stuff lives just past the edge of scary.

When you’re in this energy, you create harmony for yourself. And you show everyone around you what’s possible. Conflict doesn’t have to be the end. It can be the start.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

I don’t have steady access to this energy, but my husband does. So I’ve gotten a front-row seat to what it takes to work with the She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy.

Before I studied energy the way I do now, I thought hubs just had a temper. When he got mad, he would blow up. It was NOT fun to be around him. We used to joke and blame it on the Italian half of him. As I built my life with him, I learned to help him pause, to let his emotions settle before he responded to something. When I learned about how his energy really works, I learned that his emotions are felt and processed in waves. With this energy consistently running in him, he needed to pause. He needed to wait before responding.

When he moved into management, he ran into a different challenge with this energy. He wanted connection with his people, but he wanted it on his terms. He’s a very direct person, not given to idle chit chat, not interested in spending time just getting to know someone for its own sake. His way was to connect with someone when he needed them to do something. And most of them would get pissed. Why do I only see you when you need something from me? That approach made sense to him, but it didn’t land well with the people he managed.

I guided him to think it through from their perspective. They wanted a different relationship with their manager. They wanted to see him more than just when he needed something from them. Once he calmed down about it, he realized he needed a different approach. He started regularly visiting each person. Just a quick check-in. How’s it going? It changed everything. He realized that other people needed a different type of connection than he did.

When the She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy is running in you, this is the everyday practice. Pausing before reacting. Learning that the timing and the conditions that feel right to you might not be what someone else needs.

You’ll feel tension when your terms don’t match what someone else needs. That tension is information. My husband felt it. His people weren’t happy with how he was treating them. At first, that annoyed him. But he turned it around and built relationships that have lasted for years.

So with this energy, pause before you react. Is this telling you to wait? Or telling you to speak? Timing is everything here.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

One man I was dating, John, was just the sweetest, most thoughtful person. The kind of fella who came to my office and left flowers on the windshield of my car while he was driving to work. What kind of idiot breaks up with that guy? Me. I did. He was incredible. But he scared the shit out of me. So I ended our relationship.

Even now, so many years later, it doesn’t make sense to me. Well, it wouldn’t, if I hadn’t been through my Learning Journey. It was the craziest thing. I was turning away from exactly what I wanted. Who does that? The person who’s in the cranky version of the She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy. That’s who.

This is Discord. It doesn’t always look like obvious conflict. Sometimes it’s just friction you can’t explain. Tension with no clear source. Unease about letting someone in a little further.

In the Cranky Pants version of She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy, you read that discomfort as a warning. You decide the person can’t be trusted. You stay guarded. You keep people at a careful distance, but at the same time, wish they were closer.

Underneath it, you’re thinking, “What if I let them in, and it goes wrong?”

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

When this energy runs in you, you want real closeness. Not surface talk. Not polite distance. Right at the edge of real closeness, something in you hesitates.

This energy pairs with the energy we spent time with at the end of August: She Won’t Settle for Surface. Same territory. Real intimacy. This time, we’re looking at the discernment part. The timing part. Knowing who’s safe. And when.

Years ago, while I was still in the dating game, I had a pattern. I’d date a fella, and as things started to move toward real emotional connection, toward potential commitment, I’d pull back. Basically, stop the relationship. I was still in the processing phase of my Learning Journey. A close emotional connection felt like too much.

Given my history of sexual trauma and abuse, my head figured that physical intimacy would be the challenge. My head was wrong. No problem there. The tough stuff for me was emotional intimacy. Letting someone in behind my protective walls didn’t feel safe.

I often joke that my now-husband came in through the back door. We were friends first. I didn’t see him as a potential boyfriend, so I was able to connect with him in a way that felt safe to me.

There’s a song that matches this She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy. This song has one of the best backstories in music. Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain.” When they recorded it, two couples in the band were breaking up. A third member was going through his own divorce. They were falling apart from each other in real life. And somehow, this became the one song all five of them wrote together. Pieced together from fragments. Recorded partly apart, because some of them couldn’t stand being in the same room. The song became the thing that held them together long enough to finish the album. Real tension. And out of it, something that connected them anyway. That’s exactly the energy we’re all currently in.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Your mind is a film editor. Not a journalist. A film editor works with the film clips until eventually, the edit clicks into place. Your memories are the film clips.

First, we met the cranky side of the She Knows it Will Click energy. You stare at footage that doesn’t fit. Force meaning before it’s ready. Stare at the puzzle pieces that don’t seem to fit anywhere, but you keep trying to force them in.

Then we met the She Knows It Will Click energy in everyday life. Here, you tolerate the in-between. You trust the edit instead of forcing it.

And then we met the best-self version of this energy, the Perception Shifter. In this energy, you can help others trust their own process, because you finally learned to trust yours.

Here’s the question to sit with. Where are you stuck in confusion right now? What would it look like to trust that the click is coming?

And here’s your small next step. Pick one thing you’ve been forcing clarity on, where you’re trying to make the pieces fit. Step away for twenty-four hours. Do something physical. Something creative. Notice what surfaces on its own.

In our next episode, we move into a new energy and meet She Wants Connection, On Her Terms, the voice that knows real closeness is worth the wait.

I wouldn’t miss it. I hope you don’t!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

The best-self version of She Knows it Will Click is The Perception Shifter. In this energy, you learn to love the edit.

When you’re in the best self version of this energy, your realizations don’t just make sense of your own past. They help other people make sense of theirs. You’ve been through the confusion enough times to know the click always comes.

I’ve mentioned before that I had a messed-up childhood. So did my siblings. We’ve all had to process things in our own way, and try to make sense of things that happened to us, things we had no control over. I had an older brother. He was five years older than me, but I got to a place where things were falling into place, making sense, clicking, before he did. There were a lot of ups and downs in our relationship because of our history. He was forty-nine when he passed. In the last five or six years of his life, we worked through things. We grew closer.

At one point, he started playing what I call the “what if” game. It goes like this. If mom and dad had done this thing, I could have been so much better. Or if mom and dad hadn’t done that thing, I could have been this, or done that. The what-if game.

That’s the first time I was really, truly grateful for what I call my Learning Journey. Having worked my way forward on my own Road to Better meant I could give him some clarity and help him start moving forward on his Road to Better too, instead of playing the what-if game for the rest of his life.

When you hold this energy, you can sit with someone in their confusion. Without rushing to fix it. You know the right question, at the right moment, does more than any answer.

As the editor, the footage always makes sense in the end. The pieces always fit into the puzzle. You know that now.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

The film editor doesn’t panic because the footage is disorganized. When the energy of She Knows it Will Click runs in you, your brain is the film editor. In this energy, you don’t panic when you can’t figure out where the pieces go or how they fit together. You trust the process.

I go all out when I’m decorating for Christmas. Doorways and windows and every flat surface get a carefully curated collection of garland, lights, vases, figures, ornaments, and greenery. When I get started, first I put away the everyday decorations, well, more likely, the Thanksgiving decorations. Then I get out all of the Christmas decorations. Every box. Every storage container. I always joke that it looks like Christmas threw up in my dining room. That’s the holding space while I wait for inspiration on how to put it all together. I pause. I walk around the rooms I’m decorating and start to envision how I want things to look.

I didn’t always do it this way. I used to just open a box and start putting things out. That felt efficient. After all, it was all for the same holiday. But it always ended up a mishmash. I’d have to move things around again and again so it looked better or fit better. Learning to wait, to get everything out so I could see what I had, was a game changer. Now I put together little vignettes and charming displays throughout the entire house, and it feels effortless.

When you’re in the She Knows it Will Click energy in everyday life, you’re able to tolerate the in-between. Perplexity is the edit in progress, not a malfunction. Your job is to stay curious instead of trying to force a meaning too soon.

This energy is also made to pause before you act on a fragment that’s just a piece. Ask yourself: is this the whole picture? Or is one part still missing?

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

The Miss Cranky side of the She Knows It Will Click energy stares at a pile of footage. It doesn’t make sense yet. And she can’t stop trying to force it into a story before it’s ready.

Or it could feel like you’re looking at a pile of puzzle pieces, and you have no idea how or where they’ll fit into the puzzle.

In my early days of teaching finance, a student asked a question I hadn’t prepared for. I knew the answer. I just hadn’t thought through how to explain it clearly. Instead of pausing to put together a cogent response, I felt compelled to push through and provide an answer on the spot. In the moment. And I did push through. But because it wasn’t well thought out, my answer didn’t end up clarifying the concept. It just confused things more. Ugh. I hate that. I revisited it in the next class, with a better explanation and a clearer example, and that time, it landed.

This is Perplexity, a cranky side of the She Knows It Will Click energy. Perplexity is different from ordinary confusion. It’s deeper. It’s when you’re so close to understanding something. And not quite able to get there.

The Cranky Pants side of this energy also acts on partial insights. A fragment surfaces. It feels like a significant piece. You run with it. Before the full picture arrives.

Underneath it all, you’re thinking, “I know there’s something important here. Why can’t I figure it out yet?” It feels like you’re seeing the trees but not the forest. Yet.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

When this energy runs in you, your mind works like a film editor. It doesn’t report the story in real time, like a journalist would. It collects the footage first. Fragments. Moments. Experiences. And somewhere along the way, it starts to edit. Suddenly the story clicks into place.

This energy is always present in me. It’s at the core of how I make sense of patterns. How I name what a client, a student, or the people around me can’t see yet.

One of my jobs was running a federal grant. None of the people who wrote or applied for the grant were still around when I started the job. I was supposed to get the thing up and running. It was more confusing than anything I’d experienced. I began by reading all of the grant paperwork. Not exciting reading, but it turned out to be very helpful. After a couple of days, I started saying, “This job is like a big box of puzzle pieces. I have no idea what the puzzle is supposed to look like. And I’m pretty sure there are pieces in this box that don’t belong to this puzzle.” Turns out I was right. There were many pieces that didn’t belong. It took time, and a lot of patience, but eventually I started to see the picture the grant was supposed to make. I became the expert on it, because I was the only one who really understood how it was designed to operate.

There’s a fun song for this energy, a-ha’s “Take On Me.” Yes, it’s a stretch. I just love the pun too much to leave it out. Aha moment. A-ha, the band. That’s it. That’s the whole connection. Sometimes that’s enough.

Over the next five days, we’re going to look at the different sides of the She Knows It Will Click energy. What happens when you try to force the change before it’s ready. What it looks like to trust the process in everyday life. And what it looks like at its very best, when your own clarity helps someone else find theirs.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!