The Miss Cranky side of the She Knows It Will Click energy stares at a pile of footage. It doesn’t make sense yet. And she can’t stop trying to force it into a story before it’s ready.

Or it could feel like you’re looking at a pile of puzzle pieces, and you have no idea how or where they’ll fit into the puzzle.

In my early days of teaching finance, a student asked a question I hadn’t prepared for. I knew the answer. I just hadn’t thought through how to explain it clearly. Instead of pausing to put together a cogent response, I felt compelled to push through and provide an answer on the spot. In the moment. And I did push through. But because it wasn’t well thought out, my answer didn’t end up clarifying the concept. It just confused things more. Ugh. I hate that. I revisited it in the next class, with a better explanation and a clearer example, and that time, it landed.

This is Perplexity, a cranky side of the She Knows It Will Click energy. Perplexity is different from ordinary confusion. It’s deeper. It’s when you’re so close to understanding something. And not quite able to get there.

The Cranky Pants side of this energy also acts on partial insights. A fragment surfaces. It feels like a significant piece. You run with it. Before the full picture arrives.

Underneath it all, you’re thinking, “I know there’s something important here. Why can’t I figure it out yet?” It feels like you’re seeing the trees but not the forest. Yet.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

When this energy runs in you, your mind works like a film editor. It doesn’t report the story in real time, like a journalist would. It collects the footage first. Fragments. Moments. Experiences. And somewhere along the way, it starts to edit. Suddenly the story clicks into place.

This energy is always present in me. It’s at the core of how I make sense of patterns. How I name what a client, a student, or the people around me can’t see yet.

One of my jobs was running a federal grant. None of the people who wrote or applied for the grant were still around when I started the job. I was supposed to get the thing up and running. It was more confusing than anything I’d experienced. I began by reading all of the grant paperwork. Not exciting reading, but it turned out to be very helpful. After a couple of days, I started saying, “This job is like a big box of puzzle pieces. I have no idea what the puzzle is supposed to look like. And I’m pretty sure there are pieces in this box that don’t belong to this puzzle.” Turns out I was right. There were many pieces that didn’t belong. It took time, and a lot of patience, but eventually I started to see the picture the grant was supposed to make. I became the expert on it, because I was the only one who really understood how it was designed to operate.

There’s a fun song for this energy, a-ha’s “Take On Me.” Yes, it’s a stretch. I just love the pun too much to leave it out. Aha moment. A-ha, the band. That’s it. That’s the whole connection. Sometimes that’s enough.

Over the next five days, we’re going to look at the different sides of the She Knows It Will Click energy. What happens when you try to force the change before it’s ready. What it looks like to trust the process in everyday life. And what it looks like at its very best, when your own clarity helps someone else find theirs.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

First, we met the cranky side of this energy. Surrounded by pieces. Really frustrated that they don’t fit yet. That frustration leads her into forcing the pieces into a framework way too soon, before they’re ready to go in properly.

Then we met this energy in everyday life. Here, she’s learning to allow, instead of trying to force the pieces to fit. She’s developing patience with the in-between, with the waiting for clarity.

And then we met this energy at her best self, the Illuminated Ideator. She’s made peace with the confusion from the swirl. And that peace helps light the way for other people.

Here’s the question to consider. Right now, where are you stuck in confusion you’ve been trying to think your way out of? What would it look like to trust the She Trusts the Swirl process instead?

And here’s your small next step. Pick one thing from your past that still feels unresolved. Don’t analyze it. Just write freely about it for ten minutes. Images. Memories. Feelings. Then set it down. Come back in twenty-four hours. Notice what’s settled and resolved on its own.

In our next chat, we start a new energy and meet She Knows It Will Click, the voice that trusts that the pieces will come together, even when they haven’t yet.

I wouldn’t miss it. I hope you don’t!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

I once had a coaching client who was tangled up in confusion about a breakup. Not the facts of what happened. What it meant. He couldn’t reconcile having loved someone with being able to see that she hadn’t been good for him. Instead of handing him my read on it, I gave him an exercise. I had him write a letter as her, in her voice. Let her say what she’d say. What he wanted to hear from her.

He wrote it. And what surprised him wasn’t what he wrote. He was surprised by what he left out. He didn’t write an apology from her, because he knew she’d never apologize to him for what she did. That single thing told him more about her character than any explanation or guidance I could’ve given him.

He didn’t get an answer that day. He got clarity. Slowly, over the following weeks, the confusion started to settle into something he could move forward with.

In this best self energy of She Trusts the Swirl, you can hold something messy. Something unresolved. Without needing it tidy and neatly tied up with a bow before it’s ready. That’s valuable.

Your best-self energy has made peace with confusion. You don’t see confusion as a problem anymore. You realize that confusion is a creative process. The clarity you arrive at isn’t quick. It’s earned. Lived into. And because of that, it lands differently.

You’re the dreamer who found out what the dream meant. And now you get to tell everyone what you saw.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Growing up, there were so many times I couldn’t figure out why my parents did the things they did. Decisions they made. I think that’s a pretty common way to feel while growing up. Like, what? Do my parents even have a clue what they’re doing? I spent no small number of hours trying to figure it out. Asking myself why. And then I got busy having my own kids. Making my own decisions about how to raise them. And I was no longer trying to understand why my parents did what they did. A whole lot of it just made sense.

Same thing happened when I was a student. So many times, I couldn’t understand why a teacher did something. It didn’t make sense. Years later, when I started teaching, aha, the clarity came in. I could see and understand why they’d done what they did.

In everyday life, we often get clarity about our past when we’re doing things for ourselves. Not by analyzing it harder. Just by living far enough into our own version of it.

So we want to develop a relationship with the in-between. The gap between confusion and clarity feels like a void. But it isn’t empty. It’s active. Your mind is sorting. Finding the thread.

With this energy, we have to be careful with insights when they first arrive. What you get is a way of seeing. Not a directive. Use it as perspective. Not as a plan you have to follow.

Stepping away also helps. Do something physical. Something creative. Something simple. The clarity often arrives faster once you stop grinding on it.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

The Miss Cranky side of the She Trusts the Swirl energy is surrounded by pieces. Pieces that don’t fit together yet. And the not-fitting is unbearable.

In the last episode, I shared my confusion over dealing with the trauma from my childhood. It was complicated. So many people involved. So many different things I’d gone through.

In my mid-twenties, I got to a place where I wasn’t functioning well. Things looked fine on the outside. Inside, I was a mess. I started grappling with the monster of my past. And honestly, I just couldn’t get there. Anything I did just seemed to make things worse. The professional help I tried at that particular time didn’t get me where I needed to go. Somehow, I was just supposed to keep moving forward. Stuffing the monster back into the corner where it was always lurking.

This is Confusion. Not a sign something’s wrong. It’s the raw material. The beginning of the swirl process, not the failure of it.

But when this energy is in its cranky pants side, you try to rush it. Tries to force a framework onto it. Before the swirl is ready. And in that forcing, the anxiety builds. The pieces scatter further. The realization retreats.

Underneath all of this is a feeling of, “This doesn’t make sense yet. And I can’t stand that it doesn’t make sense yet.”

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Today we’ve moved into a new energy. For the next five days, we’re spending our time in the energy of She Trusts the Swirl.

When you’re in this energy, you process the past your own way. Not in a straight line. In a swirl. Memories circle each other. Images too. Somewhere in that swirl, something starts to form. A realization. A clarity. A way of finally understanding how something happened.

Getting there feels uncomfortable. And that’s totally the point.

I have consistent access to this energy. I can tell you, it’s not always easy. But there’s an amazing feeling of clarity once you’ve been through the swirl.

People who’ve been through real trauma know this well. At some point, you wonder why. It’s part of healing. Part of coming to terms.

I had a messed up childhood. From the outside, it looked normal. Maybe even perfect. Inside those walls, it was far from that.

For a long time in my early adulthood, I ignored it. That’s what my family did. We just kept moving forward. But eventually, a person has to process what happened. Has to come to terms with how it shaped who they are today.

There were so many pieces to the dysfunction. It made the story confusing, even to tell, let alone hear. What happened. What was still happening. There were times I was confused. Angry. Just a freaking mess.

I spent years trying to understand it. Trying to make sense of it. Nothing came through.

Eventually, I got some clarity. Then more. The clarity didn’t change what had happened. But it gave me peace in my heart.

Here’s the part I can share without risking triggering anyone. My parents did the best they could. They were dealing with their own stuff. When I see it through that lens, things make more sense.

There’s a song that perfectly fits this energy: Johnny Nash’s “I Can See Clearly Now.” The rain is gone, the clouds cleared away, and finally, you can see. That’s exactly this energy. Not forcing the clarity. Just, waiting for it. And then, one day, there it is.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Carrying the She Can’t Pour From Empty energy can mean you’re a very reliable provider. The growth here is making sure your generosity gets matched. Matched by rest. Matched by real reciprocity.

First, we met the cranky side of the She Can’t Pour From Empty energy. You work hard. With no boundaries. With no agreement in place. You get depleted, in energy and in willingness. In this energy, you need to be seen and appreciated. You need to get your rest.

Then we met the She Can’t Pour From Empty energy in everyday life. You get clear on your boundaries before you start the work. You have clear agreements in place. Your time alone becomes a commitment instead of a reward you haven’t earned yet.

And then we met the best-self version of She Can’t Pour From Empty, the Resolute Producer. In this energy, you’ve made peace with needing to be alone. You provide for your family, your business, your community. Because that’s who you are. Not because you HAVE to.

Here’s the question to sit with. Right now, where are you giving generously with no clear agreement about what you need back? What would it take to have that conversation? Before resentment sets in. Before it gets harder than it needs to be.

And here’s your small next step. Pick one commitment you’re honoring right now. One where the reciprocity isn’t what you hoped for. Not the two-way street you need and deserve. Write down what you’re not getting back. Then choose one clear way to say something. This week. Before you give another ounce of energy to it.

In our next chat, we start a new energy. We meet She Trusts the Swirl. Confusion isn’t a problem for her to solve. It’s just the process clarity moves through.

I wouldn’t miss it. I hope you don’t!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Meet the energy of the Resolute Producer. She’s clear on her boundaries. She doesn’t provide from obligation.

When you’re in this energy at its best, this energy carries satisfaction. True satisfaction. People can feel it. You’re not grinding. You’re delivering on commitments you deliberately and carefully chose. And you get something back. In its best-self energy, you’re operating as a two-way street.

I’ve shared the story already. The semester I overloaded myself. Way more students than I should have taken on. It exhausted me. No extra pay. No time with my family. It was a tough spot, and I put myself there.

The following year, things were different. There was a true need for an extra section. I was asked if I wanted it. I said yes. It went on my schedule. I got paid this time.

Before I said yes, I thought it through. What would it demand of me? I talked to my family about it first. And when I finally said yes, I was ready. So was my family. I felt respected. Appreciated too. By my boss. By my colleagues. Because I stepped up when I was truly needed.

At the best version of the She Can’t Pour From Empty energy, what you build is solid. It’s solid because boundaries and agreements hold it up. Everyone benefits when you give fully. From choice. Not obligation. Obligation sucks all the feel-good right out of the work.

Your best self version of this energy has made peace with needing time alone. She doesn’t apologize for it. She protects it. She knows something important: Her ability to give generously comes straight from her ability to fully restore her energy.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

In everyday life in the She Can’t Pour From Empty energy, you have to get clear. Clear on the boundaries. Clear on the agreements. Before you commit your willpower to something. Not after you’re exhausted and resentful. Before.

Ask yourself three things. What does this really require of me? What do I need in return? What does fair look like here?

Remember my semester? The one where I gave so many overrides, I ended up teaching an entire extra section? And didn’t get paid for it. One of Linda’s life lessons, for sure.

Before registration opened for the next semester, I met with my boss. To be honest, he wasn’t any more thrilled with what I’d done than I was. He was a friend. He hated seeing what I’d done to myself. All that work, no extra pay for it.

He pointed something out. If there was real demand for another section, he’d have added one. And paid me for it. And honestly? There wasn’t real demand. The other professors were teaching classes that were only half full.

So my boss and I made a plan. A real plan for handling overrides going forward. I had to toughen up a bit. I couldn’t say yes to every student who wanted in. But I learned the lesson. I needed to protect my energy. Protect my rest on nights and weekends. Or I’d be no good to my students. No good to my family either.

If this energy runs in you like it runs in me, here’s the thing. Alone time isn’t a reward you haven’t earned yet. It’s a commitment. The restoration you get from being rested is what makes the productivity possible. When you’re truly rested, what you give is better. Not just more. Better.

There’s a breadwinner quality to this energy. You can abundantly provide. That’s who you are. But regularly ask yourself this: Are the people you’re providing for in true partnership with you? Or has it shifted into something where what you give gets assumed, instead of valued?

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

The Miss Cranky side of the She Can’t Pour From Empty energy has been working without a boundary in place. When you carry this energy, the people around you can start to treat your willpower and work ethic as though it’s an unlimited resource. You’re such a worker, and you love to work, and they expect it from you, and you can end up feeling exploited. Sometimes it happens because you never drew the boundary line for yourself.

In the last episode, I told you about the semester I took on an extra section’s worth of students because I never set a boundary on how many overrides I’d hand out. By the time that semester ended, I was completely wiped out, because I had totally overworked myself. It sucked. It was a fall semester, and I spent Christmas Eve day grading so I could get final grades submitted on time.

And here’s the part I didn’t tell you yet. I didn’t even get to rest once the semester was over. There was no real gap. I moved straight into prep for the next semester, because that’s just what you do, right? I never gave myself the time alone to recover from what that semester had taken out of me.

That’s the piece I’ve had to learn the hard way. Rest isn’t just about stopping work for a weekend. When this energy runs in you, you need real time alone to restore. Not as a luxury. As a non-negotiable requirement. When that time isn’t protected, your willingness to work, and your generosity with your time gets depleted, not just your energy.

As I said, I had to learn these lessons the hard way. When I was overextended that semester, I never had a free evening or weekend. I worked. Non-stop. And I did it to myself. Yikes.

Underneath all of it was the feeling of, “I work so hard for the people I care about. I just need them to see it. And I need to get my rest.”

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

I’m very familiar with this energy. I have consistent access to it. And it’s come with some significant life lessons for me.

When you carry this energy, you’re one of the most reliable people anyone in your circle will ever know. You have real willpower. Real work ethic. A real drive to provide for the people you care about. That’s a remarkable strength.

But this energy comes with something like a governor built into it. That’s part of an engine that keeps it from redlining and burning itself out. When this energy is in you, that governor is rest and reciprocity. Skip either one, and there’s nothing left to keep you from running yourself straight into empty. Totally out of gas.

As a professor, there was a time when students really fought to get into my classes. It came from a combination of things. I’d become known as a good instructor who really cared about her students’ learning. I put the terms into as much everyday language as possible. And I was generous with my time with office hours and study sessions. A couple of the other professors who taught the same class were, let’s just say, much more rigid. I wasn’t an easy professor. But I made it easier to learn. My classes were the first to fill, and students begged to get into my sections.

At that time, I was able to give a student an override, permission to get into a class that was technically full. I kept giving seats until there weren’t any left in the classroom. I did this across four sections because I felt for my students and wanted them to succeed. In the end, I taught an additional twenty-eight students, the equivalent of an entire extra section. I didn’t get paid for the extra work. Not a dime. And with all the added grading and additional students to serve, I was wiped out. Completely exhausted before the semester was even over. Ugh. Lesson learned.

There’s a song that perfectly fits this energy: Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5.” It’s about working hard, reliably providing, and not always getting seen or valued the way you deserve for what you do. As I’m recording this, news of Dolly’s passing just broke, and I wanted to pause and acknowledge that. Few people embodied this energy, real work ethic, real generosity, real provision for others, in the way Dolly did. This one’s for her.

This week we’re going to look at all sides of this energy. What happens when the willpower gets treated as an unlimited resource. What it looks like when you build boundaries and rest into everyday life. And what it looks like at its very best, when you provide from your own choice instead of obligation.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

First, we met the cranky side of this energy, where She Won’t Settle for Surface is stuck at surface level and frustrated by it. And sometimes, she builds her own walls when the conditions don’t feel safe. And sometimes she pushes for closeness before the trust was there.

Next, we met She Won’t Settle for Surface energy in everyday life, where she’s learned to read the signal and wait for the opening, intentionally choosing her connections instead of chasing every possible bond. It’s like dating. You meet people and assess whether or not you want to spend more time getting to know them better. Sometimes you do. Other times, not so much.

And then we met the She Won’t Settle for Surface energy at her best self, the Barrier Breaker, where just her presence makes it easier for people to be honest, without her needing to push for it.

Here’s the question to consider as we close out our time with the She Won’t Settle for Surface energy.

Right now, where in your life are you either forcing intimacy before the timing is right, or settling for surface-level connection when what you really crave and need is something deeper, something real? What would it look like to be patient with building trust while staying honest about what you need?

And here’s a small next step for you. Identify a relationship in your life that has the potential for depth but has stayed at the surface. Instead of pushing toward it, create a situation that enables real conversation. Share something honest about yourself first, and see what comes of it.

In our next episode, we start fresh and meet the energy of She Can’t Pour From Empty, the voice that knows that generosity without boundaries eventually runs dry.

I wouldn’t miss it. I hope you don’t!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Today we meet the best self version of the She Won’t Settle for Surface energy: the Barrier Breaker.

The Barrier Breaker has stopped trying to create intimacy and now creates the conditions for intimacy. When this energy is at its best in you, your presence has a quality people feel without naming it. There’s something about being around you that makes it easier to be honest. The feeling of having to pretend to have it together relaxes a little. The carefully maintained version of how they want people to see them loosens up. And when that loosens up, a deeper connection becomes possible.

When my husband and I were dating, we went through a rough patch where he felt like he needed to see other people. My head understood it, but it still hurt my heart. When he first started seeing other people, he wasn’t honest and transparent with me about it. I suspected there was something going on, but I didn’t say anything. And then he would just burst out with it and tell me what was going on. He’d have such relief about finally being able to tell me the truth. I didn’t like hearing what I heard, but I was grateful for his honesty. I never demanded it. I just kept being who I am, and eventually, the truth found its way out.

At this level of the energy, the bonds you form are clear reflections of honesty and openness on both sides. Not because you’ve demanded it from others, but because you’ve modeled it so completely that it becomes the natural pace of any relationship you’re really in.

Your best-self energy here has also made peace with the depth of what she needs. Real connection isn’t a “nice to have.” For this energy, it’s as necessary as water. Honoring that need, choosing relationships that can meet it, releasing the ones that can’t; that’s not being demanding. That’s not being too much. That’s being honest about how you’re built. What you’re made for.

The creative partnerships that emerge from this true intimacy become some of the most productive and meaningful work of your life. The right people, carefully chosen and deeply connected to, produce things together that change what’s possible for everyone around them.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

As a professor, students often came to my office for help with their homework or with understanding difficult concepts. During my office hours, there was usually a steady stream of students coming to see me. As I got to know my students, there were often times when I could tell something more was going on with them. Maybe they were quieter than usual, maybe they seemed a bit withdrawn, but something would seem off. I learned to wait for a moment that felt right to ask, “Is everything okay? Are you okay?” And then to just pause and let them share what they needed to. Sometimes they just needed a soft place to land so they could talk things out. Sometimes they needed a bit of guidance. And sometimes they even needed me to connect them with professional help. I learned to be willing to wait for them to feel ready to share their heart with me.

In everyday life, this energy looks like being patient with the pace that trust builds at. When you have this energy in you, your instinct for genuine connection is faster than most people’s readiness for it. That’s not their failing. It’s just the gap between the energy of your design and theirs. So we practice reading the signal, we wait for the opening, and then we move into it when it arrives.

This energy is also about being intentional about the connections you deeply invest in. You have the capacity for genuine intimacy with a lot of people, more than people who don’t have consistent access to this energy do. But not every connection that feels possible is right for you. The bonds that match your values and your direction take you to the most extraordinary relationships. The connections that aren’t a match take you to confusion, conflict, and creative energy that goes nowhere.

The creative partnership piece is another important part of this energy. It doesn’t just connect. It creates. The right relationship, personal or professional, becomes a generative force. Something gets built in the space between two truly bonded and connected people that neither could have built alone.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

When you carry this energy, and we’re all carrying this energy right now, you have an energy that moves toward real connection because it’s inevitable. It’s like how water flows toward the lowest point. The cranky pants part of this energy gets impatient when the deep connection doesn’t happen. Like when someone stays guarded and insists on staying behind their carefully crafted profile, or when a relationship stays polite and managed instead of being real. It gets frustrating for this energy. You weren’t built for small talk. Boy, do I feel this one. You weren’t built for managed impressions. With this energy, anything less than a real connection feels like you’re being deprived.

This has always been a struggle for me. I hate having to go to networking events where everyone’s trying to put their best foot forward, and the conversations feel forced, and the people seem, well, not fake, but not their true selves, either. I try hard to avoid this kind of event. And when I must go to one, I confess I get impatient with people who keep things superficial when I’m trying to get to know them. Yuck.

The cranky energy side of She Won’t Settle for Surface shows up in two ways. Sometimes you’re frustrated by the facades other people wear. Other times, when the conditions don’t feel safe enough for real intimacy, you build a facade yourself.

There’s also a cranky side of this energy that forces intimacy before the timing is right. I’ve experienced this from the other side. My good friend Sam started dating Mary. Sam talked about me all the time when he was with her, always saying things like “I can’t wait for you to meet Linda.” So Mary felt this strong connection to me, built entirely through Sam, long before we ever met. When we finally did, it felt like she skipped a whole bunch of steps because of the way Sam loves me. Like Mary declared a closeness with me way too soon, simply because Sam loves me and she loves Sam. It felt forced. Off.

And I can clearly recognize that discomfort, because it’s the same discomfort other people probably feel when this energy in me tries to move too fast with them. The need for real connection can be so strong that it pushes toward closeness before trust has been established, which does just the opposite of what you wanted. Walls go up. People feel intruded upon. The connection you were reaching for slips further away.

The underlying energy with this is, “Why does everything have to stay so surface level? Why can’t people just be real?”

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

This energy moves toward real connection the way water moves toward the lowest point. It’s not something you choose or strategize. It just happens. You walk into a conversation, and within minutes something has shifted, and the person across from you is saying things they’ve never said to anyone else. The walls most people spend years maintaining come down faster around you.

I have consistent access to this energy. People feel it in me. So I’ve learned not to be surprised by the way people, even strangers, open up to me. This energy runs in the background underneath a lot of what I do. It’s part of why guiding and coaching feels natural to me, why walls tend to come down in conversations with clients, and why the right creative partnerships have shaped so much of my work over the years.

Many years ago, while my husband and I were getting settled into the life we were building in this city, we went out with a pretty large group of other couples. All of them had known each other for years, most of their lives. We were the only outsiders. I have no idea how the conversation wound around the way it did, but one of the men started sharing with me his story of abuse by the parish priest. He and I talked for hours. He shared. Eventually, all of the other people left the table, but we stayed. He talked, and talked. It turned out I was the first person he’d opened up to about what he had been through, other than his wife. I was still new in town and had no idea about the town history. I was there when his walls came down. The thing I remember most about that night is his relief about finally being able to talk about it.

There’s a song that perfectly fits this energy. It’s been one of my favorites for years, Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors.” It was also recorded by Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick when it was featured in the Trolls movie. The song is about seeing the real person underneath what they show the world, and loving that real person, not the surface version the world sees. That’s exactly what this energy is built for. Seeing past the surface and helping other people feel safe enough to let you see them.

Over the next five days, we’re going to look at the different sides of this energy. What happens when keeping things surface-level feels unbearable, and you force intimacy too soon, or when you wall off the depth of your own emotions and feelings. What it looks like in everyday life when you learn to respond instead of force. And what it looks like at its very best, when just your presence makes it easier for people to be honest.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

The She Says Yes on Purpose energy is devoted, wired to fully commit once it says yes. The real growth here is learning to check where the yes is coming from before it leaves your mouth.

First, we met the cranky side of She Says Yes on Purpose, where she says yes before she’s ready, ending up somewhere she never imagined she would be, and frustrated when the journey the yes took her on didn’t match her expectations.

We met this energy in everyday life, where she pauses to feel if a yes really means she’s ready or if it’s just FOMO, the fear of missing out, and where she honors the commitments she’s already made before adding anything new.

And then we met this energy at her best self, the Committed Seeker, whose wholehearted presence in every yes is so all in that other people can feel it.

Here’s the question to think about as we close out our time with She Says Yes on Purpose.

Where are you currently honoring a commitment, a yes, that came from fear of missing out instead of you really being ready for the yes? And what would it mean to get honest about that with yourself?

Here’s a small next step. Before you say yes to the next thing that comes your way, ask yourself one question: do I really want to do this, or do I just not want to miss out? Let that distinction be your guide.

In our next time together, we start a new energy and meet She Won’t Settle for Surface, the voice that knows the difference between a real connection and one that just manages to look like one.

I wouldn’t miss it. I hope you don’t!

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

Today, we meet the fullest expression, the best self version of the She Says Yes on Purpose energy, the Committed Seeker.

The Committed Seeker has stopped saying yes to everything life offers and started only saying yes to the things that are truly hers, the right yeses for her. When this energy is fully lived, every commitment you make carries a quality of “I’m fully in, as a full body yes.” And the people around you can feel it. You’re not half in. You’re fully there for the things you’ve chosen, and that presence transforms your choices.

Remember a couple of days ago, when I shared the story of how I became a professor? And how, if I’d really thought it through, I might have made a different decision. Taking the teaching position meant a lot of sacrifices along the way. That said, I was all in from the moment I said yes. And everyone around me felt it. My family. My colleagues and bosses. My students. I lived for my students and the job I did for them.

Saying yes to teaching took me places I never thought I would be. I developed skills I probably wouldn’t have otherwise developed. It expanded me and my world. And it turns out that at least some of my students thought I was good at it.

In this best-self energy, your perseverance, sticking with your yes decision, becomes something that really inspires other people. Not because you’re dramatically pushing through. Because you’re simply, steadily, fully there. Always. All in. Doing the thing. Honoring the commitment. Trusting the process even when it no longer looks like what you signed up for.

Your best-self energy here understands that each yes that’s right for you is an act of love. For the experience. For the people involved. For the version of yourself that’s going to emerge from the other side, having learned something she couldn’t have learned any other way.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!

This isn’t about being less enthusiastic or less all in about your life. It’s about making sure the yes comes from the right place before it comes out of your mouth. In everyday life, that looks like pausing long enough before a commitment to feel whether the energy behind it is true readiness or the anxiety of potentially missing out.

I dated my now-husband for four years before we got married. There were ups and downs, but I was very committed to him. And then I got pregnant. It was a huge surprise because of my medical history, and by the time I found out, I was more than four months along. Even bigger surprise.

We learned I was pregnant in mid-September. And then we started talking. We were living together, but he was divorced, and you know the saying, “once bitten, twice shy.” That’s where he was at. He wanted me to have the baby, quit my job, and stay home with the baby, without being married. Not a chance. No fucking way.

I didn’t demand that we get married. But there was no way I was going to quit my job and give up my independence. I almost left to move back to Milwaukee and try to get my old job back. At some point, he brought up marriage. He wanted to get married. I took a big, long pause. There was no way I was going to get married just because of the baby. I thought long and hard. We talked more. And we were married in November. Forty-two years later, I can say it was the right yes.

There’s a cyclical nature to this energy that’s super important in everyday life. There are seasons when you honestly have the energy for something new, and periods when you don’t have the energy for something new, because you need to finish what you’ve already committed to. Learning to tell which season you’re in, and waiting until you have something to give before saying yes again, is the whole practice.

And once you’ve said yes, the other part of this energy is to release the expectation of where things are going. This energy is really about the journey. The commitment, the yes that’s right for you, takes you somewhere you couldn’t have planned in advance.

Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!