I didn’t realize I was waiting—but I was.
I’ve been noticing something about myself lately.
I’ve been holding back.
Not in an obvious way. Not in a “doing nothing” way.
But in a quieter, more subtle way…
Waiting.
Waiting to have the audience.
Waiting to have “my people.”
Waiting for some external signal that it’s time to fully step in.
And I see now—that thinking is completely backward.
I don’t become the leader after the audience shows up.
I become the leader first.
The audience comes because I lead.
So, I’m shifting.
I’m stepping into Leader Linda now.
Not later. Not when it feels more comfortable. Not when it feels guaranteed.
Now.
That means I’m doing the things that build my business and my life before there’s evidence they’re working.
It means I’m choosing “being and doing” instead of waiting for permission.
This whole realization reminds me of a story from my family.
My cousin Craig, around 15 years old, was not exactly known for his personal hygiene. My aunt asked him one day when he was going to start brushing his teeth every day.
His answer?
“When I get a girlfriend.”
You can see the problem.
He was waiting for the result…before doing the thing that would help create the result.
And if I’m honest? I’ve been doing my own version of that.
Waiting for the business to grow…before fully showing up as the leader who grows it.
But here’s what’s also true about me.
I do step up.
I’ve done it my whole life.
I became a college professor because someone needed me—and I said yes.
I stepped in, figured it out, and only later did I start to feel like a professor.
I became a mother in what felt like a blink.
After being told pregnancy might not even be possible, I learned I was pregnant in September—and by February, I was holding a baby in my arms.
I remember thinking, “You have to pick him up. People expect you to pick him up.”
And I did.
I figured it out, like I always do.
That’s been the pattern.
Something happens → I’m needed → I step in → I grow into it.
And while that’s made me incredibly capable…
It’s also trained me to wait.
To wait for the moment.
To wait for the need.
To wait for something outside of me to move me forward.
And I don’t want to live that way anymore.
Because here’s the cost of that pattern:
When I step in at the last minute to help…
When I respond instead of initiate…
I don’t advocate for myself.
The opportunity is already shaped.
The compensation is already decided.
And I hear things like, “We know you should earn more, but this is all we can offer.”
And I accept it.
Not because I’m not capable of more—but because I entered the role after the terms were set.
That ends here.
I’m not waiting to be needed anymore.
I’m choosing to lead.
I’m choosing to initiate.
I’m choosing to build something on purpose—with my experience, my training, my education, and my voice at the center of it.
Not as a response.
As a decision.
So, the question I’m sitting with now is this:
What are Leader Linda’s actions today?
Not the perfect ones.
Not the guaranteed ones.
The real ones.
The visible ones.
The ones that build strength, stamina, capacity, and skill over time.
Because I’m not waiting to become her.
I’m practicing being her.
Starting now.
I didn’t realize I was waiting—but I’m not anymore.
Love this! 🤍