Some of us handle money by handling it alone.
Paying for it yourself, taking care of it, becomes your default position. You end up paying for things because it makes sense and someone HAS to. Not because you were asked. You just take it on.
It can start in a subtle way. When I was growing up, there was an expectation of how I should look. I was supposed to dress a certain way, and I was supposed to figure out how to do that. So I did.
I made most of my own clothes, and nobody ever knew they were homemade. It saved money. But the expense of looking a certain way was mine, and paying for it was my stuff to figure out. That’s a bit of where my habit of handling it alone got started.
Handling it alone can just…happen. Sometimes you thought you had an agreement with someone. Maybe your partner, maybe a friend. You were going to share the cost. Then, for whatever reason, they don’t take care of their part.
So you do, to keep everything running smoothly. Technically, someone else was responsible for it. You did it anyway.
You’re the dependable one. Something needs to be handled, so you handle it. You figure it out. Sometimes that means paying a bill at the eleventh hour, because you don’t have the cash flow after what you just had to spend on something else.
You’ll figure it out. Because that’s what you do.
You take care of everything because you don’t want to let people down. It feels like it will all fall apart if you don’t. So you’re overly responsible for everything.
You overfunction. You overgive your time, your energy, and your money. That’s some of the Over-ing I talk about a lot, and it has a flip side. You under-receive.
Sometimes you’ve been in this place so long that you don’t know how to receive. It’s been missing from your life for so long that you’re not a good receiver. Without realizing it, you turn people down. They say, “Let me get it.” And you say, “No, no. I got it. I’ll take care of it.”
Money keeps moving out toward everything everybody else needs. There’s less left for you. And you end up covering the costs of things you never really agreed to take care of.
If this sounds like you, join us in Loosen Your Money Knot. You can read about it here.
Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference.
Linda