Some of us handle money by not looking at it.
I see this one in so many women I know. I’ve done it here and there myself. This one is so common in the women I’ve worked with.
You don’t know what your numbers are. But you have a feeling of dread and anxiety about them. So you don’t look. You avoid opening a bill. You avoid checking the balance in your savings or checking account. You avoid meeting with your accountant. Even the thought of looking at a number tied to money brings on so much anxiety that you go out of your way to avoid it.
If a conversation with your partner starts to head toward money, you distract and change the direction of the conversation. You put off decisions about a purchase or an investment because you have no clue what your money situation is. You don’t want to look at it. It makes you feel awful.
Nothing is defined. Avoiding it feels better than facing what you think your money looks like. So you never have clarity about where things stand. You keep putting it off. You find something else to do before you make the decision. But you’re not careless with money.
Sometimes money feels too complicated. Or too big. Or just too hard, because people have made you feel like you aren’t good at it. Like you can’t handle it or manage it.
When you avoid your money, a lot of the time you look away because of your conditioning, things you absorbed growing up. This is where looking at your money stories becomes powerful. Remember the one I told you: “Money doesn’t grow on trees?” If you grew up like I did, in a house where you weren’t supposed to talk about money at all, you’ll avoid those conversations. Even the thought of having one feels awful. Somehow, you weren’t supposed to need to talk about money.
And the longer you go without looking at your statements or your balances, the more it undermines your confidence in your ability to take care of things.
You might even tell yourself: “Today I’m going to look and get a sense of my numbers.” But before you do, something else becomes more important. And you don’t get to it.
We work on this a lot in Loosen Your Money Knot. It gets better.
Join us: Loosen Your Money Knot Program
Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference.
Linda