Today we moved into a new energy. For the next five days, we’re spending our time with the energy of She Wants Connection, On Her Terms.
When this energy runs in you, you want real closeness. Not surface talk. Not polite distance. Right at the edge of real closeness, something in you hesitates.
This energy pairs with the energy we spent time with at the end of August: She Won’t Settle for Surface. Same territory. Real intimacy. This time, we’re looking at the discernment part. The timing part. Knowing who’s safe. And when.
Years ago, while I was still in the dating game, I had a pattern. I’d date a fella, and as things started to move toward real emotional connection, toward potential commitment, I’d pull back. Basically, stop the relationship. I was still in the processing phase of my Learning Journey. A close emotional connection felt like too much.
Given my history of sexual trauma and abuse, my head figured that physical intimacy would be the challenge. My head was wrong. No problem there. The tough stuff for me was emotional intimacy. Letting someone in behind my protective walls didn’t feel safe.
I often joke that my now-husband came in through the back door. We were friends first. I didn’t see him as a potential boyfriend, so I was able to connect with him in a way that felt safe to me.
There’s a song that matches this She Wants Connection, On Her Terms energy. This song has one of the best backstories in music. Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain.” When they recorded it, two couples in the band were breaking up. A third member was going through his own divorce. They were falling apart from each other in real life. And somehow, this became the one song all five of them wrote together. Pieced together from fragments. Recorded partly apart, because some of them couldn’t stand being in the same room. The song became the thing that held them together long enough to finish the album. Real tension. And out of it, something that connected them anyway. That’s exactly the energy we’re all currently in.
Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!
