We’ve moved into a new energy. Over the next five days, we’re spending our time with, and getting to know, the energy of She Won’t Settle for Surface.
This energy moves toward real connection the way water moves toward the lowest point. It’s not something you choose or strategize. It just happens. You walk into a conversation, and within minutes something has shifted, and the person across from you is saying things they’ve never said to anyone else. The walls most people spend years maintaining come down faster around you.
I have consistent access to this energy. People feel it in me. So I’ve learned not to be surprised by the way people, even strangers, open up to me. This energy runs in the background underneath a lot of what I do. It’s part of why guiding and coaching feels natural to me, why walls tend to come down in conversations with clients, and why the right creative partnerships have shaped so much of my work over the years.
Many years ago, while my husband and I were getting settled into the life we were building in this city, we went out with a pretty large group of other couples. All of them had known each other for years, most of their lives. We were the only outsiders. I have no idea how the conversation wound around the way it did, but one of the men started sharing with me his story of abuse by the parish priest. He and I talked for hours. He shared. Eventually, all of the other people left the table, but we stayed. He talked, and talked. It turned out I was the first person he’d opened up to about what he had been through, other than his wife. I was still new in town and had no idea about the town history. I was there when his walls came down. The thing I remember most about that night is his relief about finally being able to talk about it.
There’s a song that perfectly fits this energy. It’s been one of my favorites for years, Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors.” It was also recorded by Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick when it was featured in the Trolls movie. The song is about seeing the real person underneath what they show the world, and loving that real person, not the surface version the world sees. That’s exactly what this energy is built for. Seeing past the surface and helping other people feel safe enough to let you see them.
Over the next five days, we’re going to look at the different sides of this energy. What happens when keeping things surface-level feels unbearable, and you force intimacy too soon, or when you wall off the depth of your own emotions and feelings. What it looks like in everyday life when you learn to respond instead of force. And what it looks like at its very best, when just your presence makes it easier for people to be honest.
Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!
