Here it is!
From “for us” to “for me.” It’s a sneaky shift.
I want to tell you about a dynamic I see in this energy that is so common and so hard to recognize from the inside, when you’re the one who’s in it.
When the Abundance Queen is in her Cranky Pants energy, she doesn’t look like a villain. She looks like someone who really cares. She looks like someone with high standards. She looks like someone who has worked incredibly hard to build something real and wants to protect it.
And here is the thing. She is not wrong about any of that. She does care. She does have standards. She has worked hard.
But what’s really happening is that the natural authority this energy carries, that beautiful, genuine, “I have, and I know how this should work” energy, has tipped from managing into control. And there is a real difference between those two things, even though from the outside they can look almost identical.
Managing, being the steward, says, “I’m responsible for this, and I want it to go well for everyone.”
Control says, “I need to be the one who decides how this goes. And frankly, it will go better if I decide how this goes.”
I know a woman who runs strong in this energy. Brilliant. Generous. Truly cares about the people around her. And in a group setting, she is a huge asset. Until she starts to feel like things are not going the way she thinks they should.
When that happens, something shifts. She says less, but what she does say is more directive. The suggestions start to sound less like suggestions. She starts giving feedback before anyone asks for it. Gradually, the people around her stop bringing their own ideas, because somewhere along the line, they got the message that her ideas were the only ones that mattered.
She would be horrified to hear that. Because from the inside, she was just trying to make sure things went well.
That’s the Miss Cranky Pants energy in The Abundance Queen. It’s not malicious. It isn’t even fully conscious. It’s just the overseeing instinct without self-awareness, gradually becoming something that feels less like leadership and a little more like a tight grip. I have seen this happen in all sorts of communities, from corporations to churches.
There’s also a possessive version of Cranky Pants energy in the Abundance Queen. The “I have” energy, which is so powerful when it is used to build and share and lead, can tip into “mine.” My resources. My way of doing things. My standards that everyone must meet.
When that happens, the generosity that is the real superpower of this energy starts to contract. And things that should be expanding start to feel smaller.
One simple question will help you know if you are hanging out in Cranky Pants energy:
Am I leading in a way that genuinely expands the possibilities for the people around me? Or am I leading in a way that consolidates the possibilities for me?
You may have unknowingly shifted from the “for us” energy into the “for me” energy. It is a sneaky one. Because you really did start with good intentions.
Only you know the real answer.
Next time, we’ll chat about what The Abundance Queen looks like in everyday life when she is actually working. And that version? She’s something pretty special.
Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!
