The monster, stuffed back in the corner. Again.
The Miss Cranky side of the She Trusts the Swirl energy is surrounded by pieces. Pieces that don’t fit together yet. And the not-fitting is unbearable.
In the last episode, I shared my confusion over dealing with the trauma from my childhood. It was complicated. So many people involved. So many different things I’d gone through.
In my mid-twenties, I got to a place where I wasn’t functioning well. Things looked fine on the outside. Inside, I was a mess. I started grappling with the monster of my past. And honestly, I just couldn’t get there. Anything I did just seemed to make things worse. The professional help I tried at that particular time didn’t get me where I needed to go. Somehow, I was just supposed to keep moving forward. Stuffing the monster back into the corner where it was always lurking.
This is Confusion. Not a sign something’s wrong. It’s the raw material. The beginning of the swirl process, not the failure of it.
But when this energy is in its cranky pants side, you try to rush it. Tries to force a framework onto it. Before the swirl is ready. And in that forcing, the anxiety builds. The pieces scatter further. The realization retreats.
Underneath all of this is a feeling of, “This doesn’t make sense yet. And I can’t stand that it doesn’t make sense yet.”
Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!
