The cranky side of the She Won’t Settle for Surface energy is stuck at the surface level. And keeping everything at surface level is making her crazy.
When you carry this energy, and we’re all carrying this energy right now, you have an energy that moves toward real connection because it’s inevitable. It’s like how water flows toward the lowest point. The cranky pants part of this energy gets impatient when the deep connection doesn’t happen. Like when someone stays guarded and insists on staying behind their carefully crafted profile, or when a relationship stays polite and managed instead of being real. It gets frustrating for this energy. You weren’t built for small talk. Boy, do I feel this one. You weren’t built for managed impressions. With this energy, anything less than a real connection feels like you’re being deprived.
This has always been a struggle for me. I hate having to go to networking events where everyone’s trying to put their best foot forward, and the conversations feel forced, and the people seem, well, not fake, but not their true selves, either. I try hard to avoid this kind of event. And when I must go to one, I confess I get impatient with people who keep things superficial when I’m trying to get to know them. Yuck.
The cranky energy side of She Won’t Settle for Surface shows up in two ways. Sometimes you’re frustrated by the facades other people wear. Other times, when the conditions don’t feel safe enough for real intimacy, you build a facade yourself.
There’s also a cranky side of this energy that forces intimacy before the timing is right. I’ve experienced this from the other side. My good friend Sam started dating Mary. Sam talked about me all the time when he was with her, always saying things like “I can’t wait for you to meet Linda.” So Mary felt this strong connection to me, built entirely through Sam, long before we ever met. When we finally did, it felt like she skipped a whole bunch of steps because of the way Sam loves me. Like Mary declared a closeness with me way too soon, simply because Sam loves me and she loves Sam. It felt forced. Off.
And I can clearly recognize that discomfort, because it’s the same discomfort other people probably feel when this energy in me tries to move too fast with them. The need for real connection can be so strong that it pushes toward closeness before trust has been established, which does just the opposite of what you wanted. Walls go up. People feel intruded upon. The connection you were reaching for slips further away.
The underlying energy with this is, “Why does everything have to stay so surface level? Why can’t people just be real?”
Find your happy. Love what you do. Make a difference. Come back to me safely. See ya!
